![]() ![]() “The devil makes work for idle hands” don’t you know? ![]() They can’t even clean their own bums.” We’re supposed to DO something, anything. “Look at all the crumblies, laying around, just waiting to die! They aren’t productive. People do get freaked out when they see people in care homes not doing a lot of anything. There’s a contradiction there, but we can ignore it if we turn away and don’t pay any attention to it. As humans we’re meant to move around, to get ‘er done! Ironically, we go on vacation every once in a while with a major goal of sitting or lying around doing nothing. Actually, it’s downright immoral to just wait around for anything, especially for dying. We’re not supposed to just sit around waiting to die. But we’re not supposed to do that, don’t you know? It just isn’t right. (This is a perspective inherent in the pathological end of the medical spectrum.) Pain may never be eliminated from a body.Įarlier I wrote that: ‘Now that I’m palliative and not under the care of any oncologists, I feel that all I have left to do is take a schwack of pain meds and wait to die.’ Well, what of that? It signals that something is wrong in the body that needs correcting. Pain, in and of itself is not a bad thing. I thought that dying at that point might be a good idea. It took an hour to an hour and a half to settle the pain down to a 4-5 on the 5-point scale although at the time I thought that the pain would never attenuate. I also took some acetaminophen (1000 mgs). I took three times as much as I would normally take. As soon as I realized that the pain had got to a 5 or 6, I started taking hydromorphone breakthrough meds. Then it ramped up to a 9 or so on the 10-point scale. ![]() I got my gear out, but while I was doing that, I felt a twinge of pain in my ‘gut’ area (generally in my midsection, right through my body.) Soon, that twinge developed into generalized pain severe enough to take my breath away). I was feeling just fine until I went into the bathroom to ablute. This morning I got up at 7 or so in anticipation of going to the hospital for a lab visit. Now that I’m palliative and not under the care of any oncologists, I feel that all I have left to do is take a schwack of pain meds and wait to die. There may be a few more details I can profitably address such as increasing levels of pain, and Its location, but I have myeloma, there’s no question about that, and it’s going to kill me. Looking back on my many posts, I’m now concluding that I’ve said pretty much all I want to say about my relationship with myeloma. In my last post I mentioned that I’ve put together one hundred and fifty thousand words on my blog since I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in the fall of 2019. ![]()
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